Wednesday, January 19th, 2005
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11:37 pm
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wow havent talking a a long while dont know what to say everyone already knows everything that is going on with me so yeah
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Sunday, November 14th, 2004
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3:09 pm
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it feels like you still love me...like nothing has changed....but deep down i know your heart now belongs to her.
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Saturday, November 13th, 2004
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10:02 pm - i will die a painless death with your by my side
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Today was an alright day i guess.....let see woke up around 10ish and no one was home...i love when its like that then i took a shower because its nice and warm! then lets see i watched a movie and around 12ish my uncle mickey shannon and 2 of her friends came home yeah fun fun then i took a nap man oh man am i sleep still then hmm around 2 i got ready for driving is started a fire because i was cold and it would keep me warm so finally the driving people came and the guy asked me where Suzie lived it made me so happy so we went down the street picked up suzie and we were on our way! suzie and i talked up a storm we never see each other even tho we live down the street from one an other so then after about an hour i got dropped back home took another nap and then it was time to get ready for my soccer game fun fun so yeah i was sooo cold and still am but our soccer game lets see our ref is an ass to us and calls us on every little thing he can fuckin think of so 2nd half kerri trips and knocks a girl down by accident with her and the girl hit her head and kerri got a fuckin yellow card ahh we were pissed so kerri was swearing so he gave her a red card which sucked soo badly we were all so mad so then finally we had like a minute and a half left and i just knocked this girl over and all of a sudden i hear kerri scream that away to use your boobs it was the funniest thing ever so yeah soccer with us is alway an adventure always has been ever snce we were younger and i bet it will stay that way until we all stop playing which isnt anytime soon i hope but yeah then i had my aunt stop so i could visit jackie at work and i got some dinner and rented a cinderella story since i didnt get to watch all of it last night at wootkins house but yeah idk jackies boy asked me about my goldfish that i bought because i went in and showed them to him the night i bought them and then jackie gave me scotts phone number! eekk hes so pretty hehehe jackie told me to put the number in her phone to so for the name it says scottisverypretty hehe she called me after she saw it ahh jackie hearts me...yeah this kid that jackie worked with asked her for my s.n so she gave it to him and i talked to him then he called my cell phone and since im a nice person i talked to him i wasnt goin to be fuck you i dont want to talk to you...so then he asked me to his homecoming and i said yes before he started to call me while he was working and he KNEW that i was still working to ask if i was at work...then things started to get creepy and now his profile reads:
Now for you jill
I aint going to kill
If there was something wrong you should have sad it
Then maybe it wouldn't have been so bad, but I've had it
But I think that you need to get right with yourself
Cuz you are only going to feel pain when you look at yourself
Now if you ever gave a care
You wouldn't have left me standing there
Now you can only say sorry, save it
because i'm sick of the shit
i was more than fair
it was pathetic that i care
but now i see right threw you
you didnt have to go and do
that you could have told me
but i gave you a chance
and you blew it
okay so yeah he kinda creeps me out and i told him before that i dont want to talk to him and what not but idk
><3 jillian
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10:18 am
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well last night was a CRAZY night without my friends i wouldnt have made it through i love them soo much well lets see my aunt got home and whatever and some how we started to argue about he days that i can and cannot work and she like flipped out and yeah it wasnt pretty so usually i would call my dad and i was going to but yeah then i realized there is no one to answer on the other line yeah so i called up my mom and i was crying sooo hard and she was at work and she kept getting yelled at to get off her phone and what not but she didnt really care but then i got off the phone with her and called up amanda and she agreeed to come get me since i didnt want to stay in the hosue so my aunt kept yelling at me saying i wasnt going out and yeah fuck that shit i went out so we went to amandas house and waited for ashleigh to get out of work then we headed out to rip tides to visit ronney at work ahh hes so pretty! lol but yeah we get there and he wasnt working they let him leave early :( but then after we ate we decided to rent a movie and we rented a cinderelle story then my aunt called my cell phoen and was like get your ass home now and then she hung up ahhh lol so finally jackie (whom i heart very very much) came and picked me up around 10ish and ahh it was so fun what would i have done with out you jackie? but the rest of the night was just pure bliss i dont know how to explain it at all i think i went to sleep with a smile on my face i was so happy!
><3 jillian
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Friday, November 12th, 2004
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4:51 pm
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So i havent updated in forever lets see tuesday was good i stayed after with marielle and watched ppl audition for the benifit concert that SFH is putting on oh yes and then there was this one band who was there and OMG they were sooo good and we kept telling them songs to play we listened to them play for about an hour it was great then cyn came and it was off to the mall and other music places with mrs flemmming so yeah we got some donations for the battle of the bands EVERYONE HAS TO GO TICKETS GO ON SALE MONDAY 5 AT LUNCHS AND 7 AT THE DOOR we got some really cute judges so its all good then wendesday lets see went to the movies with kaleigh marielle cynthia and amanda suprise and i saw matt and karina and erin awwie how i love them! so yeah we met anthony and pat at the movies let me tell you haha it was a funny time then thursday i hung around the house for a bit then jackie came and picked me up and we got ali and dina and I GOT 5 PET GOLDFISH!!!!!!!!! but yeah things are okay i guess im still feeling really depressed i think im going to have them change my meds again for some reason nothing seems to work...well one thing does but thats out of reach let me tell you best song ever Over and Over
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Sunday, November 7th, 2004
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7:26 pm
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Well this weekend was good....last night was crazy so lets see i had a soccer game and shannon was there since i was babysitting yeah it was just peachy keen so wootkins picked us up around 8ish and we had five people in the back of the car ahh it was great so we dropped off lil one and everything and we didnt want amandas mom to know how many ppl she was driving so ronney robby shannon and i all ducked down for some reason even tho they were parked right next to us so yeah that plan didnt work out to well so eventually we were on our way...we need to drop off robby and ronney so we drove to robbys and ha like always i stole the car and shannon was with me and then robby got in and we went for a nice little spin then since im just like the bestest sister ever i let shannon drive yeah she sat on my lap and i did the gas and brake and she steered she did pretty good until robby put it in neutral on her ha it was great then finally we left and i drove home since i felt like it and wootkins didnt really care so we get home around 9ish and wootkins calls and orders shannon her dinner then we realized we need to run to the store to get hair dye for amanda so we run out and we werent sure when the pizza was coming so i let the money in the door with a note ha it was great so we picked out a color and i wanted to go see if jackie was working and indeed she was so i stopped bye and said hi to her then we left and the pizza hadnt come yet what a shame i wanted to see what the ppl would have done. so then we were just sitting around and shit fun fun we ate and then shannon went to bed then i was in the middle of dying amandas hair and i ran out and still had over half her hair to do and she goes oh the last time i used this type i used 3 boxes i was like way to tell me now so i ran upstairs and luckly my aunt had a color that was similar to what we picked ahh it was the funniest thing so then i used that box to...and then today lets see i drove up to the SSP with my aunt so i could buy the sneaks that i wanted ahh i love them oh eys they are the same ones that i have but in black and pink instead of white and pink and now im here but im going to go
><3 jillian
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Friday, November 5th, 2004
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11:11 pm
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today i have to say was the best day ahh i love it school was good didnt do much then kaleigh came over and we talked to this kid joe and ahh hes soooo pretty right kaleigh.... then lets see we got ready and went to amandas house and no one was home so i got the key and waited then it as off to the olive garden but first we stopped at her cuz' for his b-day and there was this kid and kaleigh wanted to shove a cupcake in his face but her and wootkins blew it so as wer were leaving h im and his friend were outside and becuase im me i got it all over his face it was perfect ahh i love me!! then we started driving and the wind was insane so yeah it was a good drive so we get there and the wait is 40 minutes so we go to the mall and the stupid lightup thingy was making noise well actually it was playing a song but ahh it was annoying then we had dinner which was pretty funny my friends really believe the only thing that is on my mind is sex which is part true but anyways then they told the waiter if was my bday so they sang to me hehe i love that so we were driving home...okay here is the best part and we are calling kiss and finally they answer me and this is the convo
Kiss:hey whats up...what you doing
Me Just leaving the Olive Garden
Kiss: what were you doing there?
Me: eating...what else do you do there?
Kiss: depends on who is working
AND OMG THEY PUT IT ON THE RADIO!!!!!!!
but yes today i was embarassed so yeah im sitting in second period nd thsi pretty kid gets up to go to the bathroom and i was like trisha write me a "pass" to go with him so she gets out a piece of paper and writes
: Jillian D to go to the bathroom and fuck ( ) Hardcore
8:35 am Patricia Shea
so then joelle reads it and so doesnt paul bruce....then paul bruce passed it down the row for everyone to read and then they leave it on the kids seat for him to get back and read ahh i was so red it wasnt even funny but oh well i dont mind
><3 jillian
driving time tomorrow with lauren WOO HOO
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Thursday, November 4th, 2004
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7:46 pm
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Well lets see today...today was a lil better here is the run down of my day!
First Period....we made the pretzel dough for our pretzels wow how amazing and yes it was long period today which was a stinker but it didnt take too long to make the dough so we just got to sit around for most of the period which was cool
Second....Mr Perry makes me so mad sometimes....we had to do this worksheet and fill in the colors that we saw by using this tool thingy and he said we were doing it all wrong i was like nope w/e im done with it
Third well i didnt know that we had homework so i didnt do it and all it was, was to read 4 pages and we had a quiz on it ha i got a ZERO how bad is that seriously then he gave us a worksheet i did one side and courtney did the other so it was cool
Fourth yeah we had a quiz i can figure out things when we do them in class but then when it comes down to the quizzes and test i fuck it all up i dont think i did very well on it and i want to keep all my grades up high
Fifth well hmm let see vanessa had to go to dr grizwald for a few moments cuz he wanted to ask her a few questions so that left me with simon but it was cool we talked about the movie the grudge...thank god i found someone else who was as scared as i was ha we just sat there and talked about all the scarey parts it was a pretty good study then it was class time we did guided notes and then we read a little more
Sixth Mrs Randall taugh new things like always then she gave us our quiz of the week oh yes fun shit right there
Seventh whats there to say its hell but randall came in ahh hes soooo funny i love his hair and he shook his hair for me i love when he does it its so great
then i was suppose to stay after and play pillow pollow with the JV boys football team but they had to cancel last minute so thank god i didnt miss the bus i would have been pissed but then i had my aunt pick me up from the bus stop and she brought me to the mall so i could maybe find out when i could start training but hey ya know the lady wasnt there that i need to talk to so well thats just peachy then we went into a few stores but yeah i cant wait tomorrow im going to the olive garden with marielle and wootkins and then saturday i have driving time at 9 with lauren fun fun and then i have a soccer game and then my parents are going out for the night Fun
well ill update later
><3 jillian
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Wednesday, November 3rd, 2004
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4:24 pm
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Alright so lets see i dont know where to begin today wasnt that great of a day first and second period i was at the peer mentoring training with steph and beth then i decided that i couldnt stay there the whole day so i went back to class during the passing for third and we went to the computer lab to work on our projects and guess who was in there CYNTHIA ahh i heart her so much i really dont know what i would do without my friengs i love you all sooo much then i went to forth period which was great today because we had a sub i love having subs in spanish its soo lovely then i went to lunch and had a nice chitchat with vanessa bella and eddy yes it was the usual lunch bunch bella and i are just oh so cool we get to sit at the senior table we know you are jealous jk guys well i think i said hi to middlemiss about 100 times throughout the day it was great shes so funny then i went to 5th period where i started to feel in an ever worse mood and then simon was being retarted and shit like that so me and vanessa talked then i dk whatever tomorrow is another day then i went to 6th which is usually good since im around erin (fitzy) ashley (flanders) and steve who i am in a "fight" with oh yes a fight ha but hes so funny then seventh period was torture it was long period but oh well i got through it maggie and i talked for a lil while ahh i heart her and teri is the funniest we just sit there and make comments about everything its a good time sometimes but yeah last night i restarted my computer and everything signed on line and i saw nobodykilla333 and i just started to cry i think i cried for about 3 hours i just didnt know what to do....i wanted to ask him why and how he could hurt me so much and why did he do that to me that day and why no matter what he always treated me like SHIT and i stayed with him why did i stay why did he make me fall in love with him i want to know the answers to these questions im sorry i just want closure i never got that and i need it im not in love with him but i do love him and i always will and i hate that he treated me so horrible at times and im the only one who didnt see it i just saw the times that he made me smile and happy but he hurt me he shatter my heart into pieces over and over again and now all those little pieces still although not together love him i want nothing to do with him i just want my closure its just hard like ahh i dk i hate it why couldnt have things just worked out why couldnt he not of had an anger problem why couldnt my parents see what i saw why did he have to hit me that day and all those other days that he did ....what did i do to deserve that any of that why am i the one with the broken heart what did i do please i want to know its just no fair
><3 jillian
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Tuesday, November 2nd, 2004
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4:15 pm - I feel like i need to lay down and die
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"Goodbye"
Pendulum stops and falls away
Life sifted through like sand
Storms of summer rain
Flooding lifelines in our hands
Our skin of blood and bone
Gently close to dust and blows
Our home of blood and bone
Pulls through the ground and so....
Unstoppable
These feelings of loss
So unstoppable
Egging through to the marrow of bones
Just let it go
Pain willing in your eyes
Just let me go
Dry the tears that fall
And remember
When everything is typical
I’ll be the wish upon a star
I’ve found a place so magical
Goodbye....
See you another goodbye
I..See you another goodbye
See you another goodbye
See you another...
Peeling killers rise
Precious circle is mended
Sense vertigo in you
So I’ll be your halo
So unstoppable
My love for you
So unstoppable
Memories of you
Just remember
When everything is typical
I’ll be the wish upon a star
I’ve found a place so magical
But still please...
Someone, Help Me, Grab Me, Save Me Now,
Distrust, Darkened, Daylight, I’ve lost sight
Someone, Help Me, Grab Me, Save Me Now,
Distrust, Darkened, Daylight, I’ve lost sight
Remember
That nothing here is typical
I’ll be the wish upon a star
I’ve lost something so magical
And gone so far
Just remember
When everything seems difficult
I’ll be shining from a far
When it feels like things have gone away
I’ll see you again
I’ll see you again, Goodbye
I’ll see you again, Goodbye
I’ll see you again, Goodbye
I’ll see you again, Goodbye
I’ll see you again, Goodbye....
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Monday, November 1st, 2004
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3:23 pm
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Ok so this weekend was the best so lets see friday i had my last field hockey game of the season [[tear tear]] kidding thank god i was about to kill all of those people if i had to deal with them any long so then i went home yeah thas right i didnt take the bus and get food with you people i heart some of you but then i packed my stuff because wootkins and lil wootkins were coming to pick me up since we were going to their daddys house for the night so we could just hop the boat in the morning for the parade thats right the parade so we get to her dads house and she tells us that this kid named chad was coming with us umm hello i dont know any chad thank you very much kaleigh yeah shes to cool to come with us with her new job and stuff im just kidding kaleigh lol so yeah we get to her daddys house and we order food and what not figure out where we are going to stand and shit like that then it was time for bed so we went to bed AMANDAS PHONE RANG AT 540 IN THE MORNING i was not a happy little camper at that moment that stupid kid chad woke me up we finally we got ready and met the kid at the boat station and we were on our way so yeah i just have to say if you are a guy and order a salad and an ice tea for lunch you are so past metro you are flat out GAY he just hasnt learned that yet but yeah ashleigh and i were getting annoyed by him so we went for a walk and i bought the cutest pins for my purse that i wear every day so i figured why not spice it up lol so we finally got back to where we were stand and shit then the parade came it was a grand old time then on sunday wow boy that was crazy we made my costume thats right i was a beat up jeter...wootkins and i got into a locker room fight it was soo crazy so we get to her uncles house and all her cousins are there and zach and a few other people middlemiss was a bum go her she looked like a guy i loved it so yeah we went trick or treating what losers are we but then we went to these peoples house since they dont celebrate holidays and we just kept knocking and knocking and then finally we just egged the house and the guy came out side so a lil while late we did it again and omg he was about to chase us so we all ran and then fianlly we were all walking and we thought there was a scarecrow outside but umm yeah it was the guy omg we were so scared so we all ran and sam drove by so 6 of us got in the back and 2 were on the roof and he had a medal thing inhis hand it was so scarey so then finally every one went home and the guy followed wootkins car we wanted to cry so we ditched him and then we all went home
Now today lets see
Cooking Period One made banana bread nicole and i did a ton of work yeah jsut like we always do we just sit there and talk about pretty much every thing i heart her so much im going to miss her when she graduates :(
Earth Science Period Two Took notes but really all i did was talk to Ashley S and Joelle and Paul about our crazy weekends and let me tell you they were all pretty crazy
American History Period Three mr. Farrell gave us a project so he took us to the computer lab so we could start working on them and rachel was there so i pretty much just sat their and talked to her the whole time im going to miss her i wont be able to see her every day since fh is over
Spanish Period Four I fell asleep all we were doing was watching Lord Of The Rings
American Lit Period Five Well during the study i had a nice little chit chat with simon all chit chats with him are good hes so funny "simon your retarded" then we read more of the play
Algebra 2 Period Six Yeah Randalls class is always fun i wrote wootkins a note thats all i did fun shit man
Chorus Period Seven I hate that fuckin class
SFH was pretty good we had a guest speaker today fun and now i am home and wootkins is going to come over when she gets out of work
<3 jillian
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Monday, October 25th, 2004
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7:19 pm
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Well today was a good day...lets see 1st period didnt do much in cooking hmm like always
2nd period science watch a flick and then mr perry did a demonstration thingy 3rd didnt do anything at all since i didnt have my book yeah jackie thanks a lot 4th ms colerick hates me but oh well if i had a dick she could suck it then 5th simon and i tried to convince vanessa to skip but she refused then instead we didnt go to 6th and it was simon vanessa and moe so yeah it was a good time then we went back to school and we were going to get a pass for 7th but that plan backfired in our faces so simon and i decided to go sit outside behind vanessas car omg it was soo cold then i had to go to field hockey which was okay we lost 1~0 but oh well we still have 2 games left i think tomorrow we practice with varsity only the juniors since the sophmores and freshman have a game ugh i really dont want practice so i might get dismissed and not go to practice and then hopefully play on wednesday but we'll see what happenes but now im going to go and take a shower
so ....<3 jillian
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Sunday, October 24th, 2004
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8:00 pm
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ok well today was okay i went to a few stores with my aunt and got new sneakers for indoor soccer and then im ordering a new pair of sneakers ahh they are soo cute i love them but yeah josh gets out soon like a week from tomorrow im kind of nervous like i got use to the life that i have now not having to think of him in society just in jail i wish he wasnt getting out so soon...its too soon for me im not ready for him to get out...i had a dream that he was at north and he was in my english class i didnt really like it not at all...like what am i suppose to do it one day i see him at a store or im standing behind him in a line or i see him with an other girl....im dont think im strong enough mentally for any of those things and i wish i was but a huge part of me will always be in love with him and will always be his and i wish i could say none of that was true but thats just how it is...im scared that i will see himand start to cry actually i know i will see him and start to cry its just he was my life my whole life i revolved around him i thought of nothing but him and ahh i dont know
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10:49 am
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Well this week was a good week it started out on monday school wasnt that bad its actually getting better wow im suprised that im say that but then i had field hockey which is almost over 4 games 1 practice thank god im getting sick of coach tarpey shit pisses me off so badly well lets see she called all of us over and was talking to us pretty much saying that we suck like always and i got up and walked away and after mikaela and alison followed then we went inside and just walked around so didnt practice that day oh well how sad tuesday hmm lets see i really dont remember oh but we didnt have practice so oh well wendesday we had a half a day i had driving time and then we had a game against DY and i couldnt play because i guess we had Field Hockey home work and i didnt do it i was pissed but lifes life so then thursday i had practice then i went to see WOOTKINS in the play ax of murder ahh she did so good i loved watching her the play was good i went with kaleigh the best part about the day i got to be goalie during practice i loved it ahh then friday we had a game against SOUTH yeah thats right south which by the way sucks! well i saw paul there suprise suprise he was watching the volleyball game and hmm lets see since coach tarpey is a bitch half the team couldnt play 1st half because we went to the bathroom shame on us but oh well we still won and i played all of 2nd half....then on saturday omg it was soo fun let me tell you i woke up for driving time with lauren which only lasted an hour instead of 2 got dropped off at wootkins house then picked up marielle and kaleigh to go to the game which sorry joe we missed then it was off to boston to go to hooters....joe had to idea where we were taking him so in other words we kidnapped joe for the day!! so we took the train from braintree and we to lunch and walked around and ended up on newbury street and CONDOM WORLD ahh it was the greatest store ever ha then we got on the train and it was the wrong one so we got off at the first stop and ended up at fenway omg it was sooo great dream come true we got so much free stuff it was crazy so we got back on the train and had to find a way home since wootkins was going to her daddys house so yeah we were stranded so joe called his sister shes my hero now she came and picked us all up and drove us home and.....she has a ford focus ahh it was soo great i got home and watched the game and then it was time to call it a night
<3 jillian
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Sunday, October 17th, 2004
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1:35 pm
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Ok so i havent updated in forever but il just start from yesterday...PSAT'S sucked sooo much...then i went home showered and met wootkins at the mall to get our make up done at clinique so yeah we looked oh so pretty then it was off to get out hair done....omg it looked sooooo good i loved it we stopped by and showed robby our hair and wootkins almost killed me while we were in the car and yes they like to embarasse me since i think roonie (sp) is cute omg he is though so anyways then we ended up back at my house so i could get ready and shit like that and my aunty marianne was down for some reason so yeah that was cool and so i got dressed....which by the way i had the bestestesetest dress ever and i loved it sooo much so then we went to wootkins house and she got ready and everyone ended up at wootkins we took pictures and then it was off to the dance ahh we had so much fun together we loved it then we went to stop and shop and stalked up on food but yeah over all it was a GReat night i love my girlies!
<3 jillian
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Saturday, October 2nd, 2004
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9:51 am
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Well lets see yesterday was good actually it was real good so it started off at school....which was a pretty easy day but i had to wear my field hockey uniform yea you know you where jealous so then right when school was out i went out and got all 24 balloons from my aunt oh yes we were pimping our field out thats right so we hung them up all over the place it was pretty!!! then it was time for the varsity game to begin and oh yes they won 2-0 and then we started up and won 1-0 but the thing was my contact in my right eye definately decided without permission to fall out of my eye so yeah that wasnt good so after the game i ran inside got dressed made myself pretty and it was off to pick of marielle and kaliegh and we went to rip tides because i think wootkins friend is sooooooooooo pretty and they deicded to tell him that but yeah after that we went to the game go us and we brought kalieghs puppy with us and it ended up peein on wootkins so i gave wootkins my sweatshirt and i was fine so we decided to walk around and we bumped into pat so i talked to him for a few minutes and they bought me a long sleeved shirt they are such nice friends so pat said field hockey was gay so i decided that he was going down yeah thats right and he did so then we went to go watch the game and the dog peed on kaleigh i could stop laughing i thought it was the funniest thing so then after the game we went to get some movies and we watched them and then i went home it was a good night and today i think im going to the movies with wootkins and then to work till 945 fun fun!!!
<3 ji ll
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Thursday, September 30th, 2004
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11:12 am
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Well im in the computer lab oh yes let me tell you fun fun im not sure where the rest of my class is but vanessa is here with me si uts all okay! so yeah i havent updated as much as i sure to but hey thats okay so yeah i havnet had field hockey since last friday monday and like every other day it was rainy and shitty but yeah today it the first day of real practice ugh im dreading it but last night was good i went out to dinn dinn with the family...chris' fairwell dinner i guess but yeah it was at the ming and i got 2 scratch tix and oh yes they were both winners let me tell you i won 45 dollars what now bitch!!! i was soo happy but yeah this kid drew in my earth science class that yeah i want soo badly well i guess im suppose to be in class bye
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Sunday, September 26th, 2004
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8:22 pm
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Okay well lets see last week was crazy i was soo busy
Monday i had school then field hockey and then therapy which was good i hadnt been in a while so yeah that helped with a few thingys so then i got to go home and do my homework blah i hate home work thank god i dont get a lot of it
Tuesday I had school then i had to get dismissed and go to the mall for my build a bear interview!!!! i so hope i get the job hehehe then i went to field hockey practice around 3:30 then i got picked up at practice at 4:15 cuz i had to go to the dentist always a joy.
Wendesday school then we had a field hockey game in falmouth so we get there and they dont have any bathrooms near the school they had a portapotty and i think those are sooooooooooooooo icky and i refuse to use them i wont so rachel and i both took toliet paper from it and we popped a squat! hehe i told me aunt she was proud so then after the game i got picked up from laura mom mrs kenny then it was straight to the chruch for my confirmation reherasal that i went to late and everyone looked at me and it was embarassing and to make it better i was in uniform!
Thursday i had an appointment at 930 so i decided that i wanted to sleep in cuz i was getting sick so my aunt woke me up around 9ish and i went to my appointment and got to school around 1045ish holla! so yeah then i had practice and i had to go home and do my rain guage project thingy
Friday i had a home game go us against sandwich but the thing was i had to leave during half time which sucked major ass crack i wasnt to pleased but i had to rush home and get ready for confirmation oh yes thats right im one with god just kidding so yeah me and my aunty jeanne had no idea what we were doing while we were ther and we were just talking laughing and when we got up to the dude she forgot my confirmation name it took her like 5 minutes to spit out elizabeth frances it was soo funny so then we all came back to my house and everyone left around 11ish i was soo tired i fell right asleep then it was off to shannons soccer game in the morning so we went to that ran to the market and picked up a few last minute things for the party and we were on our way....so everyone arrived and i called wootkins and she came over and after people left we went to the market and to mcdonalds to see cynthia haha it was funny then on the way back to my house we almost died because there was a HUGE raccoon in the middle of the road omg it was scarey...then around 12 we dyed her hair OMG it looks sooo good i love it and finally around 2ish we fell asleep since i had driving time in the morning.....Wootkins Arms Legs What about armpits for god sakes haha good time we laughed sooo much now wootkins has entered like a whole new zone she has met my family....Scarey im not kidding my aunt and uncle from NJ came up i was happy to see them we are going there for thanksgiving hopefully i can bring wootkins along with my thats what are are planning...well then after driving time i had to go to work i hate working but hey money is money stop and shop sucks i and feel really sick so im going to go to sleep even tho its wicked early but i dont care
<3 j i ll
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Monday, September 20th, 2004
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7:44 pm
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2:15 pm - At SFH meeting
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Well today was an okay day im still at school sharing a seat with the wonderful CNYTHIA shes mexican!!!! hell yes hehe im mexican too at heart but yeah shes like my hero well tonight i have to go to therapy yeah fun then i get to go home then tomorrow i have to leave practice early again at 4ish cuz i have the dentist eeewwy yeah no fun then wednesday i have a game in falmouth then i have confirmation practice fun so yeah i have to leave that game early then on thursday i can actually stay for the whole practice then friday game fun then rush rush rush to get to confirmation not looking like shit!!!
<3 j ill
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Sunday, September 19th, 2004
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9:02 am
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well lets see i havent beren updating all that much ive been busy with field hockey and shit like that fun fun well let see wednesday i had practice fun! then on thursday we had a game at home and it was raining our which sucked soo badly cuz we couldnt see like anything because of our goggles eek i couldnt stand it well we tied that game again the thing that we need to work on is scoring and like shooting the ball cuz we pretty much control the field so that a good thing. what else umm yeah we had a big deal thingy at the game it wasnt to pleasant but whatever...what happens happens then friday i went to the store and got a pair on wire goggles that were on sale for 30 instead of 50 fuck yes! then saturday i worked 11-4 and today im going to my aunts then to my dads site then to lunch and finally to work fun well i guess ill update at some point
<3 j i ll
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Tuesday, September 14th, 2004
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6:05 pm
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Well a lot has gone on since i last updated in not really sure when i last updated actually but that AOkay! well last friday varsity had their first FH game against Chadam well i got to play a few minutes i was happy but we lost 4-3 but they had a boy on their team who got 3 of their goals so if they didnt have the boy we would have won no doubt about it! ive been really busy with field hockey i dont really mind its not that bad well yesterday we had out first game for JV yeah so varsity won 2-0 and we typed 0-0 but im really proud about how we played we did really well together. i never realized how much people can change thats why you should always keep pictures cus in pictures they can be who you want them to be but oh well whatever life goes on! so yeha i totally forgot but i guess today is josh' birthday i remember last year i left work and spent the whole day with him thats the day i met his dad eek but oh well i hope he has a good b-day in JAIL BITCH hahaha but anyways ive been pretty sleepy lately. okay so i droppped chemistry and went into earth science i like that class a lot and its really easy but yeah there is this kid and hes really really pretty and his eyes i have never seen blue eyes like that befoere...oh me oh my but right now i have to go and start some home work thank god i dont have much
<<<< MUAH>>>>>
<3 j i ll
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Sunday, September 5th, 2004
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9:59 pm
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hey bitches so i havent updated in a while so i guess i will do that now....ive been busy with Field hockey it hasnt been that bad i guess im trying to do good this year and keep my grades up and shit so lets see wednesday we had a scrimmage and i def forgot my shorts so that sucked ass but its okay so yeah then thursday we had a scrimmage too and im soo proud of myself i didnt forget my shorts woo hoo go me....so yeah then on thrusday night jess picked me up and we went and hung out with gary and scotty randall was there yeah umm yeah we will just say yeah right jess lol so friday we didnt have school but i had FH and then work got out of work and went to bed i think then got up saturday morning bright and early to go to field hockey got mary lous hell yes then it was off to the duxbury play day it was a good time i enjoyed myself but i got a wicked sunburn and shit like that and i was soooo tired and our last scrimmage got over at like 215 and i had to work at 3 so i had to race home drop laura off shower and shit and go to work till 8 i was soooo fuckin sleepy at work and of course it was busy as fuckin hell so it was just lovely.after work i just collapsed then sunday i slept in real late then headed out to work again from 3-8 mikaela was baggin whoo hoo and i was on express then we decided to steal food since we are broke and it was yummy then flanders came to work and since we are really lucky she was on the register behind me so we had a good time i dont really like working once i find a new job and a better job i will probaly quit cuz i hate stop and shop and i hate dealing with people cuz they suck ass and i hate it but yea it wasnt that bad since i had mikaela and ashley working with me so the time went by really fast so it was all in the good....i have a ton of home work this weekend and i dont have any of my books cuz i got dismissed on thrusday cuz i had a few appointments to go to and i forgot to grab them all when i was at practi e so yeah that just sucks hopefully my teachers will be okay with it so its all in the good too but yeah tomorrow we dont have school and i think that i want to go shopping up at kohls hopefully my aunty peggy will take me and pay for everything since i am dead broke i need to get paid thrusday and i owe my aunt money for my texting bill but hey its okay hopefully she doesnt get pissed most likely she wont she hasnt been getting to mad at me lately but yeah things havent been that bad i talked to ms allen about a few things so that helped i just wanted to straighten it all out before the season went any farther so its gunna be better she told me what teachers i have that are good and which ones suck but i hope that i dont flip out on any teachers i have once already this year so im hopin i dont do it again but yeah i dont feel like typing anymore all of chris' friends are over its pretty funny i so guess i will find something to do i have to take my pills before i forget cuz i keep forgetting oops my bad
<3 j i ll
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Wednesday, September 1st, 2004
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9:19 pm
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So today was OKay even tho i forgot my shorts for my FH scrimmage at south but umm yeah like i said south was going down and it did Bitches so mikaela flanders and i had to tinkle so we walked into the guys locker room at south!!!! then we walked around and went into a girlies bathroom man did we have some laughs in there....all i have to say is BEST MULES THIS SIDE OF THE MISSISSIPPI HOW MANY POUNDS OF ASS WOULD YOU LIKE that was great girls much love
1. Who are you? WOOTKINS
2. Are we friends? yup!
3. When and how did we meet? 7th grade chorus???
4. How have I affected you? in many different ways..
5. What do you think of me? I think you are wicked cool...
6. What's the fondest memory you have of me?u dancin at my party
7. How long do you think we will be friends? i think a long time
8. Do you love me? yup!
9. Do you have a crush on me? well.... kinda.... lol... sorry jillian ur not my type
10. Would you kiss me?nah sorry...
11. Would you hug me?yep!
12. Physically, what stands out? how much u look like drew barrymore
13. Emotionally, what stands out? ur personality
14. Do you wish I was cooler? nope u are cool the way u are
15. On a scale of 1-10, how hot am I? 10 1/2
16. Give me a nickname and explain why you picked it. Crazy! cuz u are!
17. Am I loveable? definatly
18. How long have you known me? 4 years
19. Describe me in one word. NUTS!
20. What was your first impression?bitchy
21. Do you still think that way about me now? nope
22. What do you think my weakness is?ummm....im not sure
23. Do you think I'll get married? yeah... and im gunna b in it!
24. What makes me happy? ME!!!
25. What makes me sad? Stupid idoits that u have come by in the past
26. What reminds you of me? The meow mix commercials(sp)
27. If you could give me anything what would it be? a perfect boy JUST for you
29. How well do you know me? Pretty well
29. When's the last time you saw me? TODAY! yelling WOOTKINS at my class
30. Ever wanted to tell me something but couldn't?... i think i tell u everything i need to
31. Do you think I could kill someone? probably 1 or 2 ppl
32. Do you think our friendship is getting stronger/weaker/or staying the same? stronger.. def.
33. Do you feel that you could talk to me about anything and I would listen? yeah... if u werent hyper
34. Are you going to put this on your LiveJournal and see what I say about you? nope dont have one!
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Tuesday, August 31st, 2004
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6:39 pm
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Okay well the reason that i havent updated in like forever is because.. . . i went to ARIZONA omg it was soo nice i loved it we went to all the "big" things i guess you could say but i dont really feel like typing everything out so if you want to know anything just feel free to IM me and ask!
Okay well hmm lets see yesterday was a good day i had just gotten home the night before so i had to unpack and do laundry and get everything ready for school, once i did all that i decided to run up to the mall for a tad so i could get something to wear....i stopped and talked to Lauren D for a while since she is working and we decided that we are going to do our driving time together cuz we are cool like that then i saw noelle and yes she is jealous of all the beautiful things that i purchased so yeah i got a new skirt that plaid and its pink black and white so cute so cute and a part of it is lace woo hoo sexy! then i got a bunch of adorable hair things from H&M all pink and one red i also bought a really cute pair of tights that are black and hot pink stripped so yeah the best thing that i bought i must say were my new sunglasses ahhhhh they are the bomb holler at that! Okay well then jessica and emily called me and they met me at the mall while i was getting my eyebrows down EKEKEKEK makes me wanna smack a bitch thats how bad it hurts okay so yeah we walked down the mall and ran into the most adorable brittany aww her hair looks soo good props to you there darlin so we talked to her for a few and waited for emilys daddy to call so we could get some money so finally he called and he was telling him where to meet her and her response we near the what near the what near the who omg it was soo funny we couldnt stop laughing then we went into AE eww so em could get a shirt to put over the one she already had
so after that we decided to go to stop and shop since we had money then we decided to go to the one in Kingston oh yes we got smoothies and then chocolate chip cookies (minis) and then we also bought a wicked cute camera so yeah we went into the line that fred was bagging in and yeah he left wow we got shut down haha just kidding didnt really break my heart or anythin so then we got into the car and started to take pics and we ended up in manomet at paul oh yes good times girlies!
Well today was the first day of school how badly does that suck only 179 days left whoo hoo but hyeah my schedule was soo fucked up i had two classes at the exact same time so i had to drop the one class that i wanted and take another one but oh well atleast im not in any studies thats the last thing i want Ever i want all the credits i can get! my worst class is chemisty not that its a bad class its just that i really dont want to spend 2nd period every day with taylor ahh i hate her so much she has to get over all the fucking shit if she wants joshua back she can have him cuz i sure as hell dont then the school day was over so then it was time for FH practice it wasnt that bad i have to admitt im still not sure if im going to play the whole season i know its no that long but i have to keep my grades up and stay out of TROUBLE and thats what i plan on doing im going to try really hard this year i wonder if i could get straight A's one term thats my goal! go me but yeah i got home not that long ago and i have to have my aunt sign a bunch of shit and i have to mold my mouth guards for out srimmage againgst SOUTH tomorrow woo hoo GO EAGLEs we better kick there asses we will we rule!
well im going to go and relax since ive been up since 5 this morning what a fucking drag
<3 J i l l
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Friday, August 20th, 2004
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6:25 pm - WARPED TOUR!!!!! <3
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Okay so Yesterday equalled the Best fuckin day of the Summer....Warped Tour '04
So where do i begin well i get in the car and guess who is in charge of reading the directions! ME!!! so yeah i was trying to figure it out so i kept having to have chip help me with them yeah i had a lot of trouble we definately had 6 people in that car all together Vanessa Tom Maura Josh Chip and Me we had a blast in the even tho we got lost getting there but we only got lost for a few minutes and we figured it all out so we get there we are all sleepy cuz we all got up at 6 that morning so we get there and maura had to go and pick up her ticket since ticket master Sucks Ass! so we stood in line and guess what it was the wrong line so finally she gets her ticket and we stand in line at the gates tom chip and josh were over at the MALE entrance and we were at the FEMALE so finally we all got in and found each other we were there sooo early let me tell you. so we go with the flow of people and stand at the top and wait for them to open a gate and everyone was like flipping out and shit and finally they said we arent opening this gate ahh what the fuck we were pissed so we went to find the gate that they were opening so we found it and they opened it and we got in decided what time everything was and who we all wanted to see....now let me tell you all the people that i saw there....
CYNTHIA, MARIELLE, MATT, KATY, KATIE, ANDREW, CHRIS M, CHRIS B, SEAN, KRISTA,JASON AND A BUNCH OF OTHER REALLY KEWL PEOPLE
so we went to the first band we didnt really know them all that well but hey it was okay buy that time we lost josh chip tom and maura so it was only me and vanessa so we decided to go into the MOSH PIT fuck yes...it was crazy then we all met up again and got a drink...i must say that sugarcult kicked ass i <3 them! so during TBS i everyone lost everyone else and i got stuck between really tall guys from every direction and i kept getting hit in the head by people crowd surfing and i couldnt breath so thank god i found tom...who i might add is my NEW HERO he made our way threw the crowd and sat me down cuz i almost passed out....so i told tom to go back into the crowd cuz he loves TBS and i didnt want him to miss any of it then of course we all found each other and i definately got kicked in the head during THE USED at that point i was with vanessa chip, chips bitch that he found there from NH haha and josh. it hurt soo badly but it was all worth it
getting home. . .
So we finally make it to the car all about to pass out...and we start driving and i make chip sit in the middle cuz i had to on the way there hehe as we say he was bitch whipped! hehe so for some reason vanessa starts pulling over to the place where it says parent pick up and the cop has her roll down the window and asks if she was picking up and she didnt understand so he asked like 4 times and finally the rest of up answered for her it was pretty funny... then we are driving along and we are looking for the axe and tom and josh find rotten coffee shit and eww it smelt sooo badly so finally they picked it up and threw it out the window...while doing so we must have missed our exit cuz we ended up in Norwood ahh we were soo lost we drove for over 3 hours trying to get home. then we asked some one for directions and they just kept saying ya so we drove off on them then we asked these two fisherman who had been drinking for directions and ha we ended up in rhode island yeah go us then we turned around and went to some WENDYS cuz we were sick of being lost omg it was soooo funny tho then finally we got on the right highway and tom fell asleep ahh how cute so we dropped chip and josh off then we dropped off tom then ME we had sooo many good times tho i couldnt have wished up a better time although i did get wicked burned but its okay
Today i got my check and my hair highlighted so thats cool and tomorrow well tomorrow its off to ARIZONA BABY
<3 J i l l
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Monday, August 16th, 2004
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9:22 pm
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Today was an okay day i woke up around 840ish and at 845 left for work, well i got to work and who do i see there? vanessa! lol yeah i guess she didnt understand it when i tol dher that i could work on monday on well we got to work together for like all day if was fun and easy for the most part we werent sure what they would have us do since we werent in the front end today tear tear sorry flanders :( so this is what we had to do we got to play with the gun thingys and put prices on like Everything omg toothpaste there is soooo much toothpaste go to CVS for fuck sakes so yeah we did all that then i had to clean which sucked ass then i around 12 lisa came and i got to work with her for the rest of the day doing price changes on all the hair shit lol we talked and it was good we have so much stuff in common like she thinks that josh sucks ass she also hates devin she dated him and thinks hes just as bad as josh but yeah it was good talking to some one who knew where i was coming from i liked talking to her and i was going to go to the marshfield fair with her and her boyfriend who also works at stop and shop but of course it comes this saturday and thats when i leave for ARIZONA woo hoo i cant wait but yeah so then around 3 i got out of work went through joes line to buy my sprite oh yes go me (right flanders) then i went over to marshalls since my aunt was running late from work and low and behold i saw jill there she was on her hour break and decided that she needed some more jeans so we went shopping and i didnt really found anything that i liked all that much but she fould a few pairs of really cute jeans so then my autn comes and picks me up and its off to the dentist of course theyre running behind so we get to wait, then we leave there go to walmart of yes fun we needed to pick up a few things for our trip yeah 75 dollars worth of a few things but yeah then my uncle wanted us to go to the mall and pick something up for dinner i didnt want anything so i went over and got shannon her pizza >< i wanted to have french toast >< so yeah we got home and i went on the computer and had a nice chit chat with my flanders i really missed her and mikaela, im kinda not looking forward to field hockey tho i dont want to play i think im going to talk to my aunt about it cuz i really need to work on my grades and shit and in the spring i will play softball if i dont play field hockey during the fall and as it is all the senior who are playing dont like me but they can all go shove there stick up each others ass but hey thats just what i think but yeah so tomorow i have therapy at 10 AM fun fun and then i have to go and pick something up at jessicas house and then its off for my blood testing i hate needles my aunt was going to have my uncle take me but she knows how much i hate needles and i start shaking and i cry its just horrible i really need to get over that fear i just cant but hey oh well its life...yeah so i guess jess isnt giong to warped tour and i already have my ticket so i talked to vanessa tonight and im probably going with her and tom and everyone else cuz she thinks that they are going to take her friend adams van so oh yes we will have a joyful time i cant wait then on friday im going to get my hair highlighted again and get rid of the red in it me and my aunt decided then its off to arizona so i guess i will update soon...oh by the way im going to purchase a new mattress tomorrow i think!!!
<3 Jillian
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Saturday, August 14th, 2004
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12:53 pm
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WOW beans i havent updated in a whole week opps
okay so where to begin
hmm well ive been working a lot its been fun i guess im getting money so i dont mind not one bit, well lets see i went and visit my grandma on tuesday since it was my only day that i had off and my aunt and i took her to lunch and we borught my cousin michelle along with us then we went to a few store since my grandma had to pick up a few things then we went to put my eye glass and contact perscription in so then maybe i can actually see, then we went home and what not. wednesday i went to work fun fun i broke a register we arent sure what happened but it like totally shut down oppsie daisy i didnt mean to break it oh well. so then thursday was one of the longest days eeeevvvveeerrr lerts see i woke up and went to drivers ed got picked up and went right to my appointment with the lady who gives me my meds, she put me on a new med, it will help my sleep and it will also stabilize my mood so yeah hopefully that will work then i went right to work till 6 and once i got out of work i had to babysit which sucked ass then on friday i went to drivers ed last day whoo hoo thank god and came home and slept until i had to go to work at 330-930 work was fun last night...omg i forgot to say i forget which day it was but me vanessa and kerri were all working and we wanted mcdonalds for dinner go vanessa went to go get some for us and kerri was washing the floor and vanessa whiped out and fell flat on her ass it was the funniest thing i have seen in a while so then we decided that we needed more food so vanessa gave kerri her car keys omg we were scared out of our minds it was funny tho....well today we are having a cookout fun fun and i gave vanessa money to go and get me and jessica our warped tour tickets :) i cant wait and im working tomorow 12-6 and im not sure what time im working on monday haha im soo confused with my schedule and everything vanessa tom and i were trying to figure it all out oh well
ill write more later
<3 Jillian
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Saturday, August 7th, 2004
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11:11 am
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Well yesterday was interesting lets see i went to drivers ed earlier than usual since my aunty peggy had to work...poopers so i sat there and i was sooo sleepy like always so then drivers ed started >< so yeah i sat thur it yes i made it suprise suprise...so then i got picked up went home and slept hehe i was sleepy like i sad so then shannon went to a friends house and i slept some more i went on line and chit chatted with a few select people and then made plans to go with jessica when she babysat and then sleep over her house, bnut before that i had to run up to the mall with my aunty peggy and fatty once again and I GOT MY C E L L phone woo hoo so ya better start calling it 5085770611 heheh im soo happy but right now we are getting ready to go to pauls casa and then i have to work from 5-945 which sucks ass! soo ill update later
><3 Jillian
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Friday, August 6th, 2004
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1:01 pm
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i wish it would all end, the main thing that i wish would end is me....im sick of everything, everybody, i just want it to all go away. ive tried and tried to get over wanting to die but hey it just wont happen, i just wish that i had some one that i could tell everything to like i use to, im sick of people judging me and getting mad when i have something to say. im sick of people telling me not to do this and not to do that i just wish that everything could go back to when i had josh there for me to talk to he never judged me and he never got mad if i wanted to cut or talked about suicide unlike everyone else he listened to me everyone else seems to get mad and threaten me with "well if you do that again jillian you will be commited again, now is that what you want" no you stupid fuck i dont want to be committed i want to die there is a fuckin difference ahh i just hate everything about everything i just want to leave go away end
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jillian6150's journal
